Before I met Carmen, I was content. That is different from being happy. It is different from fulfilled. I made a good living and was proud of building several successful companies. My kids would make any man proud. Among my passionate sidelines were flying, fly fishing and writing. I had written mostly political work, often for political campaign managers.
After our marriage, including an agreement that finding real joy in life would be important to our future, she looked at me and offered, “you write for politicians, you write a lot of fiction, so why not write your own?” Boom, out of a suit and into a career change.
From that moment, Carmen has been a full partner in my writing. Her daily encouragement keeps me focused. Her criticism sharpens the finished story line. Her fellowship in creative writing and education master’s degree gave her license to be my primary editor. She also helped my appreciation of faith and acceptance that as much as we would like, often we are not in charge.
Away from my office, she has become the navigator for our travels, including in our own plane. Her skills with a fly rod now challenge my own. Her engagement with our extended family helps overcome my reclusive tendencies. In short, contentment has been replaced with joy.
With that background I want you to imagine what ran through my head when she came home from a doctor’s appointment with the message, “they found two large tumors, and they cannot reach them for a biopsy.” As a cancer survivor, I wasn’t terrified, but I was aware of how similar findings disrupted my life for several years. The question, Why? ran through my mind more than once, even though I intellectually know that there is no answer to that.
On June 20, only three weeks after diagnosis, they operated, removing both tumors. One week later, in a meeting with the surgeon we got the word, both were benign. Now her only task is to recover from the surgery. And my only task is to be there and to remember that often our troubles, just like for characters in a book, help us realize how blessed we are.