My values, like most of us, have evolved over the years. Many of the trappings of success when I was 30 are not only less important today, but some also I’ve learned are deterrents to a successful life. With that said, I find that time alone on the porch of a wilderness cabin, watching brown bears fish in the river below offers a perspective that is hard to find in the clutter of modern life. I just returned from nine days with four guys, hunting and telling lies over a drink or two. I loved it but also found time to just be alone as I do every year. I jotted down a number of life’s lessons and found the priorities different from just a couple of years ago and added some while deleting others. I try to do this annually, to set priorities for the coming year. Here are my 2023 lessons.
1. Relationships are the most important part of life. Family, good friends, old friends and young, business and professional relationships give meaning to life. This requires sharing honest experiences, genuinely listening, and embracing others’ priorities. As a writer this is essential, because those relationships are the ones that give me critical feedback and make both life and my writing better.
2. Time is finite and incredibly valuable. In a normal week I will devote five hours a day to my profession and craft. That discipline affords me the time to do other things I love like spending time outdoors and being with people I enjoy. Managing my time also keeps me from the life-robbing feelings of “I wish I had…” and “I should have…”
3. Learning is a lifetime process. Early in life much of my learning came from study and classroom work both in school and in career. Later I found that observing others and how they do things was more valuable. And of course, embracing the lessons of my own failures and treating them as learning experiences remains one of my highest priorities.
4. Good health, both physical and mental, is one of my most treasured gifts. As a cancer survivor, one who stepped on a stingray snorkeling ending up with a pacemaker, and one who’s always attacked life, a little gray hair is a bonus. I work out, walk ten to fifteen miles a week. I also have learned to deal with problems immediately, not to let them become a crisis. Love of life is difficult if you spend all your time anguished.
5. Dogs… (or for some cats or horses or other pets) in my life bring great joy and peace. Writing is a solitary career, with hours on end spent alone. Having a dog come up and put his head in my lap for an ear rub a couple of times a day, forces me to break and reminds me of the importance of caring for myself and others. Weatherby, and before him Winchester, Ruger, and others help me keep that perspective.